My Field Meddle:
Being quite new to the whole business class flying thing, I was always a little excited to be sat next to famous people. On one particular trip from L.A. to New York I glanced to my side only to discover that I was seated next to none other than whom I believed to be Oscar and Golden Globe winning actress, Sally Field – think ‘The Flying Nun.’ I wasn’t 100% sure, but we were on a plane so my theory was checking out so far…
Those lucky enough to know me will tell you that I am not one to trust with an open container of anything. It’s just a matter of time before I’m wearing it. It was about an hour into my new friendship with Gidget (ok, we hadn’t actually spoken yet) when she learned this lesson the hard way. I proceeded to pour my drink all over Forrest Gump’s mother. Not satisfied with soaking her (or perhaps in an attempt to force a conversation) I made sure the water went not just all over her iPod, but also into the planes electronics so that none of the passengers could use the inflight system for the remainder of the flight. I groped desperately to try and rescue her iPod in time but that only seemed to make things worse.
Two flight attendants rushed over with towels fawning “so sorry Ms Field” (I had confirmation - I knew it was her!)
I spent the next few hours equal parts embarrassed and thirsty. Eventually the latter won over and I dared to obtain another drink – “with a lid please” I wisely asked. It proved fortuitous that I did, for no sooner had I placed this drink in the cup holder, I again knocked it out and onto the floor. I hurriedly scrambled to collect my unfortunate water bottle from under the seat in front of us and looked up just in time to witness Sybil rolling her eyes at me. I was mortified!
Ms Field, if you end up reading this I would like to sincerely apologise for ruining that trip for you and I really do hope your iPod was ok.
When I was 13 I loved Pretty Woman and was convinced I would marry Richard Gere. Not when I was still 13 of course – that would make him a weirdo and certainly not marriage material. No, Richard and I would marry when I was of a legal age to wed.
I had just arrived in L.A. for the first time and was excited to see all the famous cites from movies and T.V. Imagine my excitement when my driver (yes, I used to have a driver…how times have changed!) took me not to the Beverly Hilton where I was staying, but to the Beverley Wilshire. For those who are not Pretty Woman obsessed, the Beverley Wilshire was made famous as the hotel in which Richard Gere was staying when he engaged the services of a prostitute of whom he grew rather fond in the aforementioned movie.
So after toying with the idea of changing my booking, I decided against it and asked to be taken to the correct hotel. Upon arrival at the Beverly Hilton I was surprised to see a huge pack of paparazzi waiting. My chauffeur opened the door and I stepped out of the car greeted by flashing camera lights and people jostling to get a look at me. It turns out that the Oscars rehearsal was on and it was assumed that I was someone famous. The disappointment on their faces when they realised it was just little old me was priceless. That was the closest I will ever get to being a Hollywood star.
Epilogue: Richard Gere has gone on to do some fantastic charity work with aids awareness and Survival International. He has enjoyed a successful career and numerous awards but I’m pretty sure in private moments alone he wonders what might have been…
Once I was on another flight (I used to fly a lot!) I was again seated next to a well known actress. Due to the nature of this anecdote I will opt not to name her (think Melrose Place – big lips). On this particular trip she was watching herself on her computer screen and laughing like a maniac over and over again. Watching and laughing before rewinding and watching again. She did this at least 30 times. It was kind of unsettling and she was lucky I didn’t just pour my drink over her to shut her up.
I include this story in the hope that an actor may be reading this and could please let me know if this is some established technique or something as I was a bit unnerved by her behaviour and now find it very difficult to binge watch past seasons of Melrose Place.